Simon and the Lingerie
by worrywart
Summary: Severus learns the extent to which a child can embarrass a parent when out in public.


**I know I said that the Simon stories were over, but when I was out Christmas shopping yesterday afternoon, I recalled a funny memory from when Worrywart Junior was young. It immediately formed itself into a Simon story. Enjoy!**

**J.K. Rowling owns it all. Alas.**

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><p>Saturday and Sunday were Severus Snape's favorite days of the week. Two blissful days without dunderheads to make his life miserable; two blissful days spent with his family. The weekends were less frenetic than weekdays; Simon and Sasha slept a little longer giving him and Hermione a chance to indulge in a lie in or in each other. They rarely made plans for the day unless there was some sort of family obligation to be completed. Most of the time they wandered through the weekend with no goals in mind, just doing what needed to be done and taking things as they came.<p>

Severus and Hermione were in their bedroom this particular Saturday. Hermione was feeding Sasha on the bed and Simon was in his room playing. Severus came out of the loo after showering and went to his wardrobe to get a shirt. He looked at Hermione sitting cross legged on the bed feeding Sasha and talking nonsense to her. She had not finished dressing and was only in her jeans and very pretty bra.

"Do you want me to finish feeding her so you can finish getting dressed?" asked Severus finishing up his long line of buttons on his crisp white shirt.

Hermione looked up at her husband and smiled. "No, she is just done now. Aren't you sweetie-pie?" Hermione leaned over and kissed Sasha's forehead. She lay the baby down and got off the bed. Sasha turned her head in the directions of her parents and smiled a big gummy smile.

"Severus, put up the barriers on the bed so we can finish getting ready, okay?" Severus flicked his wrist and a barrier shimmered into place around the bed. This allowed them to continue their morning routines, but know that Sasha wouldn't roll off the bed. Once he was done, he snagged Hermione around the waist and pulled her to him. Leaning down, he kissed her and whispered in her ear.

"Not now, you!" she gasped and slapped him playfully. They struggled playfully a bit, kissing and nipping each other's necks. What they didn't see is Simon had snuck into the room and was hiding on the floor on the side of the bed away from his parents. "Severus, let me go, I need to get dressed. Can we head to muggle London today? I need to pick up some new under things and there is also a children's exhibit at the British Museum Simon would like."

"That sounds all right," Severus agreed and before he let Hermione go, he kissed her deeply and pinched one of her nipples through her bra.

"Ow, stop it!" she giggled and slipped away.

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><p>Two hours later the family found themselves in Selfridge's. As Hermione looked over the various displays, Severus kept an eye on the children. He had snuggled Sasha to his shoulder and could tell that Simon was getting bored, so Severus would discretely magic up things to keep him occupied. Hermione led them over to the lingerie display stating that she needed some new knickers and bras. "What's wrong with the ones you have already?" asked Severus.<p>

"You're a little rough on them dear, and they are starting to no longer respond to _reparo_," her voice dropping as she finished.

"Well someone finished something and needs to have her nappy changed." Severus' rather large nose was wrinkled.

Hermione turned around to look at her daughter tucked into Severus' shoulder. She plucked Sasha away from her father. "There's a loo right over there. I'll run in and change her, you keep an eye on Simon," she said she extracted the nappy bag from the pram and made her way to the toilet.

Severus looked around uneasily. Just because he enjoyed the lingerie Hermione bought and often did not mind helping her pick out delicious looking garments, this did not mean he necessarily wanted to be left alone among the scanty knickers and bras. He quickly glanced at Simon, who was playing on the floor with a few toy soldiers, ensuring he was occupied. Severus then pretended to be interested in the sprinkler alarm system in the ceiling.

A moment or two later, he heard a voice addressing him. "Excuse me, sir?"

Severus looked at the woman addressing him and sneered, "Yes, madam?"

"Is that your little boy over there?" Severus followed her finger to where it was pointing.

There is was no mistaking 'that little boy' was anything but Severus' son. Father and son had the same long black hair, the same black eyes, the same pale complexion, and of course, the same black clothes. "Thank you, madam," growled Severus who would have disapparted on the spot if it would have not involved nearly 100 oblivates and six days worth of paperwork at the ministry. He walked over and snatched Simon by his collar and dragged him away from what he was doing.

And just what was 'that little boy over there' doing? Simon was standing at a display of bras that were on hangers. His little fingers were quite busy as they pinched the pointed area of each bra they could reach. "Simon!" Severus groaned.

"What, daddy?"

"What are you doing?" Severus was exasperated as the woman who alerted him to Simon's little deed was tittering with a few of her friends.

"Nothing." Classic kid response.

"It didn't look like nothing."

"Well, I see you do that to mommy when she is wearing them things."

Severus spluttered. "And when did you see me do that?"

"This morning."

"Ah, and where were you—"

"And yesterday in the kitchen, and the other day in Sasha's room, and that time we were swimming, and.."

"ENOUGH!" Severus roared, startling a few women nearby.

Just then Hermione and Sasha reappeared. "Severus, I could hear you from the loo! What's going on?"

"Your son-"

"Has he done something wrong? Why is he always my son when he has done something wrong?" Hermione interjected.

"It's his Gryffindor genes," said Severus smugly. He lowered his voice and continued, "A woman in the shop was only too delighted to point out to me that Simon was at the display of bras pinching the nipple areas. "

"Like father, like son," Hermione said matter-of-factly and she placed a giggling Sasha back in her pram and got ready to leave. "Let's go. Nothing here sparks my interest."

"Hermione, we need to tell him it's not okay to do that."

"Did he say why he did it?"

At this, Severus came very near to blushing and mumbled, "Hesawmedoittoyou."

"Come again?"

He looked sheepishly at Hermione, a little smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He couldn't wait for her reaction. "He said he saw me do it to you."

"WHAT? WHEN?"

"This morning."

"Oh, then it was a one off. We can just tell him not to do it again."

"And yesterday in the kitchen, once in Sasha's room, and that time we went swimming…"

Hermione slapped him on the back of his head. "I've told you a hundred times not to keep doing that. I told you that you never knew when Simon or someone else might see, I've told you mmumpf"

Severus had leaned over and kissed her. "I get the picture dear. I'll have a little talk with Simon when we get home later. Now, what was this about a display at the BM children's section?"

**A/N: Worrywart Junior was three years old in the Sears department store in Marysville, California, when his loving mother, that is to say me, turned around from a lingerie display I was looking at and espied his little tiny fingers doing just what Simon was doing. I drug his little body away from the bras and left the store. All I can say is the kid is his father's son.**


End file.
